Merry Christmas! I hope this letter finds you well and that you are doing your best to relax. I know you’re about to kick things into high gear so a nice little kick back with a few cold ones doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Maybe some Fireball for a little festive cheer?
Anyway, I know this letter is late and I do hope it reaches you in time. This season, I just haven’t been able to figure out what I want. Do I ask for a brand new crisp white G-Wagon magically paid off or something more practical, like a semi-clean house filled with toilet paper and toothpaste because hell if I know what my kids are actually doing with them. I was at a loss, so I compiled a list of practical things that could really improve my life or at the very least keep me drunk enough to make it til next Christmas completely unfazed by the mass amounts of toilet paper disappearing from once fully stocked shelves. Either is cool with me but we won’t pretend I’m not voting for the latter. Cheers Santa!
So that’s it for me Santa! There’s my list. I have every faith that you will pull it together for me this year. And as a thank you, I’ll add a little Fireball to the milk this year…and one extra cookie.